pathak's journey

Been missing out a lot on my works and myself lately.
This months has really kept me offbeat and I had this zero urge of getting up and writing anything.i tried to get up and write and atleast stay loyal with my work,but not even a single cell in my body supported me.

So I tried other way of working it out, I dropped working out or anything that involved major physical movements.
Instead I started sketching and painting.
And yes, I did stick to this part,in a month I’ve sketched enough to know that I can cross a good artist.

I started staying outside more, although I am asked not to stay longer,but I did.
I sat, I’ve felt sun rays touch my skin, felt the warmth of it.
I have planted tress,flowers and really did my hands dirty, which made me feel happy.
This year kicked off really bad for me,it held me up from loving myself.
Because,deep down I know i am one of those person who can tell other to love themselves unconditionally,but I stopped doing it on my part.

I had opted this habit of shutting myself,not speaking up much or not even contacting to anyone. But this whole month, I sat with people , talked about them and their life.

I have started getting a hold of myself, I have started loving myself and every day I make sure to tell myself that whatever I’ve been through has been a blessing in disguise, maybe today I’m crying and praying to get back to that part but somewhere I do know that nothing good is going to come from that

I have picked up my pieces, I am not sticking them but making them stronger than before.
No matter how worse today’s damage has been to me, I know that all of this will be my stone for getting up.
I want to throw this feeling that has confiscated me in a bad way, I miss feeling happy headed and carefree.
Maybe not today,but these days are coming closer.